As part of the generation of immediate and instant information, I want things to happen now. And not just now, but *bleeping* now. Like yesterday now.
Part of this is because society is that way. We've been groomed to expect results now. The generation of instant gratification. Fast food, public transit that picks up every 10 minutes, search engines on my phone that have the ability to pull up any information at any time at any place. Well, any place that has an internet connection invisibly flying through the air.
The other part of this is a personality… issue? Flaw? Trait? You see, I usually take some time, at least a couple weeks, to think seriously about whatever it is that needs a decision. Like moving. Or picking a major. Or what dress to get for my vacation in November. Or do I really need another bikini? Anyway, I spend time, weighing pros and cons in a completely logical and calm manner. But once the decision is made, look out, I'm gonna make it happen.
For example, I spent time looking at finances, weighing my options, and once I decided that yes, I really do want to purchase a white dress full price before the summer so I can get exactly the one that I want… well I went out that same day and bought one. Y'know, because white summer dresses really matter.
Or when I decided to move apartments. Or ended a relationship.
The problem now is that I finally have been able to make a big life decision. I've done everything I can, I'm making progress, and I still have to wait. And I'm done waiting. It took me 2 years to make this decision, and now I have to wait another 7 months. When I really don't want to.
So in the mean time, I'm taking summer classes. And I'm registered for fall classes. Except that if it was only waiting at this point, I could probably keep myself busy to manage my way through it. But it's still work. And because it's still work, there's more waiting.
Like this summer class I want? I'm waitlisted. Yep. It's full. (I don't understand why online classes have a capacity. Except that it's technical writing and she's gonna have to read all the crap we turn in. So I take it back.) I've travelled from #10 on the waitlist to #4. Then I stepped away from the computer for a couple days and missed my turn to register. Blast! So I've re-signed up on the waitlist. I'm currently sitting pretty at #1 on the list. Just patiently waiting for my turn.
Expect that I'll be checking the list every half hour obsessively. Because that's what I do. And I really want this class.
It's part of the game I guess. Good things are worth the work. And the wait? It's proven true with most everything I've come across so far. If what you have received is something you didn't have to work for, sacrifice for, or wait for, then (in my experience) it's not something worth having.
Unless it's money. In that moment, take all the free money you can get your hands on.
One thought on “waitlisted”
It sounds like genes, to me. I also think and pnder and worry until I'm sure, but at that point even right now isn't quite soon enough!