early mornings and late nights

adjustment, change, life, meditation, morning person, schedule, school, The U

It's been a long time since I actually blogged first thing in the morning. I used to get up at 5:30 regularly for the express purpose of waking up slowly.  I enjoy a leisurly wake up padding around the house drinking my coffee and eating breakfast. To think that I would get up extra early to be able to do that makes me laugh a little.

The dogs wake me up pretty regularly at 6:00 a.m. I don't mind, I still like being up in the early morning. There's something peaceful about the dark hours that happen before the world rolls out of bed and greets me. It's because of these hours and waking-up habits that I would call myself a morning person.

Though I'm also a sleep person. Y'know, someone who can sleep for 10-12 hours in a stretch. Though those instances are less and less frequent since, well, the dogs wake me up. But they can be satisfied with a quick potty break outside and some breakfast and then I'm allowed to go back to sleep, usually for another couple hours or so.

And all this was working like a well-oiled machine. They wake me up at 6 a.m., eat, back to sleep for two hours, wake me up again for a walk and we start our day. It was a beautiful relationship that ran like clockwork. All of this worked so well beacause I was going to bed by 11 p.m. Ideally, I was in bed reading by 10 p.m. A solid eight hours of sleep has always been my best friend.

Until last week when I started school. Who knew that me waking up to an alarm could be so jarring? Or that because of the alarm, those dogs wake me up EARLIER than 6 a.m. BEFORE the alarm goes off? 

As with every school or work adjustment I've ever made, my schedule is wonky, my eating habits are not consistent and now I have crazy dreams and can't even sleep through the night! *big sigh* 

I find that I'm getting to bed later and later, last night was the earliest in two weeks when I finally decided to call it quits at almost 11 p.m. Even Sunday night was closer to 11:30 and most of last week I saw the terrifying hour of midnight. 

Lately I'm getting home from 12-hour days on campus to dig around for dinner and unwind from the newsroom only to have at least four hours of reading to do, for which it would be nearly impossible for me to stay awake for the entire thing. 

Lest you think I decided to stay awake this morning for the purpose of complaining, because that's just not my style, I am awake to get some reading done. One more chapter before class today. And then after class there are three more and about 10 law cases to brief and understand their impact on laws about my bible, the first amendment. 

But before that all begins again, I'm taking these few moments to morning snuggle with my little corn dog the way I used to. And while I've switched from coffee and oatmeal to tea and fruit, today begins the way I want it to: with quiet reflection, a short planning session for the rest of the day and a little pep talk to get me through it. 

Good morning early morning, it's nice to see you again.


split lip

bad days, good days, life, morning person, optimism, optimistic, Project Positive, realist, stress, sunshine

I split my lip last week.  After a big laugh this morning it was bleeding.  If I could just quit smiling it would heal faster.


I'm sure there is someone out there that would take at look at what I have going on in my life, sort through my baggage, and inject all kinds of negative into it.  Whoever you are, stay away.  I have plenty to smile about. 

You see, I consider myself a realist.  I take the bad days with the good, you can't have one without the other.  For every bad day I experience, there are two good days to follow.  I understand and accept my limitations, and the limitations of others.  I can't expect or demand more than they can give.  I accept that.  Of course, I expect and demand more of myself, but that's another issue.

For example, when I meet someone, will they become my very best friend or my soul mate?  Most likely no.  But they might be a nice person to know, or even just talk to for a few minutes.  I'm good with that.  

Stress is part of the game.  There is nothing I can do to eliminate stress completely from my life.  But I do what I need to do to release it and let it all go.  Coping is something I do pretty well.  Sure there's an initial freak out, (I'd like to meet the person who never freaks out) but after the 30 seconds it takes to get my feet back under me, I'm off running again.  It's just the way of life.

But I also know there are two ways to look at these situations that are out of my control.  I can stomp around and be upset that it's raining today and that the sun isn't shining and that my toes are still cold.  Or I can dress appropriately and enjoy how the pink flowers pop against the gray sky and feel the cold air in my lungs and look forward to my cheeks tingling when I come back into my warm apartment.  

I learned a long time ago that my perspective on the situation has the power to almost change the situation itself.  I can sit at my desk and think “I'm so tired.  I can't believe I stayed up that late” and wish I could take the rest of the day off to go home and crawl under the covers and nap away a miserable rainy chilly day.  Or I can say “I'm tired but that conversation was so worth staying up late for” and keep trucking through the work day.

Every morning at work I chirp a highly cheerful “good morning!” with a huge grin and sparkly eyes. (I'm a morning person, I can't help it)  My friend says, “Your sunshine and rainbows are shining brightly today.” Of course they are.  It's a good day.  Why?  Because I want it to be, that's why.

It's about taking the hard stuff in stride.  The hard stuff happens, it's how you deal with it that matters.

Is there such a thing as an optimistic realist?  

So yeah, I want my lip to heal so it stops bleeding and stops hurting me.  But I'm grateful for the reminder every time I smile and laugh that there are things to smile and laugh about. Because the only person who can rain out this sunshine and rainbows is me.