what inspires you?

Beyonce, inspiration, inspirations, Mindy Kahling, motivation

I ran across a video on Beyonce's website while browsing Mindy Kahling's blog.

See, Mindy is a funny lady. She's Kelly from The Office. And she writes some of those episodes on The Office. She also wrote a book.  I've been catching exerpts of it online and it's definitely been added to my must read list.

But Beyonce? I already knew she was amazing. The kind of role model the world needs more of. But now?  Completely blown away. The more I learn about her and experience her music, the more I'm in awe of her. 

Check out the video on her website. It's about 20 minutes long so grab a fresh coffee or juice and sit for a minute. And be prepared for the desire to move mountains when it's over.

My favorite part starts at 4:25:

“Sometimes we are satisfied with what people tell us we're supposed to be satisfied with, and, I'm just not going for it.”

I'm inspired.

What inspires you?

i find that i miss it

inspirations, life



I have found that I miss having this blog. Which I find to be a bit strange since it was such a relief to release myself of the self-induced pressure of it. Strange.

It's not that there is so much or even nothing going on. It's not that there aren't friends, family, or loved ones. It's not for a shortage of people to whom I report my stories. I just miss the blog.

Every day contains a story for me. Every day there is a trigger that brings up a memory, emotion, dream, wish, thought, or internat conversation. Those are the things I used to write out, feeling the release with every click of the keyboard. Without that release, those conversations, thoughts, feelings, and dreams quickly fade and I forget them. I would rather remember them. 

I believe it to be more about the writing and the sharing process.  I feel the stress of the upcoming changes and the absence of the journaling that used to happen on a daily basis defenitely leaves an empty space.

To keep it light and not increase the self-induced stress, I give no commitment on how frequently I will share. No commitment for direction or content. I'll share when I need to share.

But if I know me like I think I do, it'll be more often that I think. 


The Healing Field

9/11, inspirations, life, September 11th, Soldiers' Memorial, The Healing Field

The date of September 11 didn't sneak up on me this year.  Neither did the meaning of the day. But the deep and intense emotion I felt did. I was not planning on visiting the Healing Field.  But while watching the scenes of the planes hitting the towers on the History Channel, I knew I needed to go.

I visited the healing field.  And it was healing.


I am part of that generation.  The generation that was coming of age in the midst of 9/11.  I don't remember much of the way things were before the the planes crashed and the towers fell.  Maybe it's because I was raised in a very small sheltered town far away from everything. Maybe because 17 years old is still an impressionable age. 

I remember that day. I knew I was not in danger. But I was so scared of the uncertainty. What would happen next? How was my life going to be different?  And what about those people that I had grown up with and cared deeply for that just entered the military? My friends who had just gotten married and he was on his way to basic training and their unborn child? What about them? 

It has been 10 years. So much has happened and yet it feels like it was yesterday. I knew I had forgiven myself for the choices made over the last 10 years.  But it was time for me to forgive others. Time for me to let go. Move on. 

In more ways than one the Healing Field healed me. 


I don't cut across the grass when using the sidewalk will get me to the same place.  But today I took off my shoes and felt the grass between my toes as I walked through the flags bearing the names of the lives lost that day.  I felt a deep gratitude for not only my life, but for the lives of the people I love and care deeply for.


It was a solemn reminder that the number of flags at the Soldiers' Memorial continues to grow while the flags at the September 11th Healing Field does not.

summer rain

emotional, energize, I went outside, inspirations, just be, life, rain, renew, renewal, summer rain

It was the kind of storm that makes me take my chair outside with some hot tea.  I sat on the patio with my toes on the railing so they got a little bit wet.  The rain brought a certain chill that cooled the air and earth.  I felt the thunder in my chest and watched the lighting flash.  I smelled the hot pavement evaporating the water as it fell and the dirt turning to mud.

Rain has always been a symbol of rebirth, being washed clean, and renewal.  And as corny as it sounds, I felt the rain renew me.  My senses, my outlook, my energy.  I felt refocused.  Even after I returned inside, I left the door open and I could hear the drops falling and the wind blowing and I had a new energy.

I spend so much time thinking and planning that when I found myself out on the patio just… listening, I was a bit surprised.  I started to wonder, what does this mean?  What am I processing?  What am I feeling? And then the stillness I had went away.  I got fidgety and restless.  I needed a pen and paper.  But I stopped. I sat back down in the chair sans paper and pen.  And I let it all float away.  And I just listened to the rain fall. 

This storm was less about processing and thinking and planning and totally more about… just being.  Just feeling.  And it was so good.  

Is it possible to over-think when you're not thinking at all?

So here's to less planning and more… being.

I love summer rain.

feeling grateful

inspirations, life

It was a beautiful morning for a run today.  Slightly overcast, light breeze, the kind of morning that forebodes of temperatures reaching 100.  

The 4th of July is my favorite holiday.  For me it's about feeling grateful, being surrounded by people you care about, and crazy good food.  And yes, all that is reminiscent of Thanksgiving, which is my second favorite holiday for those very reasons. 

But why does the Fourth squeak out with the win? The fireworks.

The loud booms that resonate in your chest.  The bright colors in the air.  The pure joy on everyone's faces.  It's the part that makes me feel like a kid again. There's no other place I'd rather be than laying on a blanket looking up at the fireworks explode directly above me while the debris collects all around. 

Tonight I won't be headed out to see the big shows.  But I'll still be surrounded by people I care about and stuffing myself with wicked good food.  And at some point during the evening, just after dark, we'll be trying NOT to blow our fingers off. 

And since that won't be happening for many more hours, I'm sitting on the floor in my apartment going through last week's newspapers.  Catching up on the politics I do follow and the issues that concern me.  While browsing the opinion section, which happens to be my favorite, I see the paper has printed part of the Declaration of Independence.  

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.  That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their powers from the consent of the governed… But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new guards for their future security.”

I'm not going all political here, I'm just feeling grateful.  And while I'm grateful for the big things like my freedom, my country, the military, my family, and the right to pursue my own happiness, I'm also grateful for the little things.  Like BBQs, friends, running on a perfect summer morning, and fireworks.

“And for the support of the Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes, and our sacred Honor.”

Happy 4th of July.

And may God continue to bless America.