a thought continued

attitude, Failure, inspirations, J.K. Rowling, Jessica Constable, life, Oprah, rock bottom, success, Tyra Banks

I continued to ponder on success vs. failure yesterday for most of the day.  Not in a life stopping, process altering way.  Just keeping in the front of the mind and revisiting the thought every so often.  And that's incredibly typical of me.

It wasn't until the evening hours that I received the reminder I was looking for.

“The only way I can fail is to stop trying.  My other blunders along the way are just lessons.”

    – Jessica Constable

Jessica is a small creative business owner.  She makes jewelry.  I thought the interview was interesting.  It reminded me of the time I saw J.K. Rowling on Oprah.  

Yeah, I watch Oprah.  Sometimes. It's better than Tyra.

Rowling was saying that we are so focused on the success and how to get the success, but we don't often enough talk about what to do when you fail.  Because failure is inevitable, it's what you do with the failure that counts.  When you are in a place so low, how is it that you turn around and go toward the success instead of wallowing in the failure.

It's a matter of attitude. It has to be that simple.

The only way to fail is to stop trying.  To admit defeat.  To give up.

Yesterday I felt on the brink of failure.  On the edge of decision.  Of not trying so hard anymore.  Of saying it is too hard, too difficult, too uncomfortable.  In those moments I have to decide if it's worth fighting for.  

And of course, that's all a bit more dramatic than it really was.

And it is worth fighting for. Really, it usually is worth fighting for. So I put on my game face and made it through.  I have new resolve.  New determination.  A new outlook.  Because if I can pull this one out at this point in the game there is nothing that can beat me. 

And it's not up to fate to succeed at this.  It's up to me.  I decided and I'm gonna do it. As Rowling says, once you hit rock bottom, what else do you have to lose?

Cheers and happy hump day.




daffodils, Failure, hope, life, progress, release, spring, sprung, success, Utah, weather

Spring has arrived in Utah.  Finally.  How do I know?  We have a current forecast for rain 7 out of the next 10 days.   And we had some crazy wind yesterday.  So windy that a dust cloud came across the west desert and into the valley. 

Makes me glad that I don't respiratory problems, or that I'm old, and that I'm a bum and put on pajamas as soon as I walked through the door at 6:00.  Yeah, I'm that person.

The other way I know it's finally spring is the daffodils are starting to bloom.  Last week they were just green shoots.  This week they have little yellow heads on them.  I love when the daffodils bloom, it means the tulips are on their way. The bright variety of colors is the perfect way to change from dreary gray everything to blue sky, golden sun, green leaves, and beautiful shade. I'm so ready for some sunny weather.

With spring always comes a new perspective.  A fresh outlook.  New positivity to carry me from the white and chill, through the rain and wind, and to the sunshine of summer. There are certain points during the year that I look back at the last 6-12 months to remember, mourn, forgive and forget, and move the hell on.  Learn from the mistakes and move it forward.  In review, there seem to be the same recurring things I wish I was doing a bit better.  I'm thinking that this spring is the perfect time to clean them up and purge them out.  Folks, I'm moving on.

I have a notebook that I carry with me most days.  Since I'm an over thinker it helps to write down the things that are bothering me so at a more appropriate time I can return to them and sort them out.  There are pages and pages of scribbles.  I don't tear out the pages when they are full or when I've solved the issue.  I just turn to a clean page. This gives me the opportunity to flip back through and review them.

I like this for a couple reason.  1. The variety of colors makes me happy.  It's that simple. 2. Patterns emerge and it helps me to see the triggers. 3. It's a timeline of the happenings in my life.  More so than this blog.

One of the more noticeable patterns is fear.  

What am I afraid of?  Failure. The unknown. Being alone. Uncertainty.

Now, being alone I can solve for.  Being afraid of the unknown and uncertainty is irrational.  I can dismiss those two as mood issues.

But who defines failure? And how do I talk to that person to find out if I'm on a non-failure route?

There are moments in my life that I've looked failure in the face, thrown him the bird, and stepped on him to get to where I want to go.  There are moments that I'm strong enough to climb out of the darkness of failure and find the sunshine of success.

Wow, that was totally corny.

The point is, fear of failure is also irrational.  We define our own failure.  Of course, society has their opinion of what failure looks like and they will be the first to point out that you've reached it.  When you take your courage and define failure for yourself, in the process you also define your own success.  

And why am I so focused on failing anyway?  I should be focused on what success looks like.  Stop worrying about what I don't want and worry more about what I do want.  The list is waaay shorter. So while plans for the rest of the year are in motion, the wheels are turning, projects are in progress, and I'm in motion, I'm also focusing on what success looks like for me.

Not only has spring sprung, but hope has sprung too. And that is a good place to be.