being single

he called me adventurous

adventure, being single, experiences, inspirations, life, life change

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In my quest for 1.a more social life, 2.a bigger circle of people that hover between acquaintance and friend, and 3.experiencing this sleepy city in a new way, I've been out and about figuring out how to connect with people.  

One of the conversations I had with a stranger left me laughing.  He asked me what I do other than work.  What do I do for fun?  

What do I do?  Well, I go to work for 8+ hours, then I come home and watch tv for 6 hours until I go to bed.

Yeah, I didn't really say that.  Even though up until recently it's mostly true.

What I said was that I'm reading books on my bucket list, I'm running to prepare for a half marathon in Puerto Rico in November, summer classes started this week, and this last weekend I volunteered downtown at the Pride Festival.

 He asked, did I go to the Pride Festival with friends or by myself?

Um, since I don't have any friends… I went by myself.

Yeah, I didn't say that either.  I just said that yes, I had gone by myself.  

And your trip to Puerto Rico, is that typical? He asked, do you always go on vacations like that?

I'm sorry, is that typical for anyone else you know?  You mean you don't vacation like that? (don't worry, this is my internat dialogue.)

Nope.  I will have had a year to plan and save and train for it.  Besides, I didn't have a vacation for this year planned yet. And why not Puerto Rico?

He says, wow.  You're more adventurous than I am.  

I laughed.  Really hard.  Internally of course.

You see, I've always thought of myself as a homebody.  I like being home.  I'm just fine there, I can enterain myself, I don't feel like I'm going to die if I don't have someone else's company or somewhere to be.  I can watch reruns for hours.  I used to get home from work on Friday and not leave the apartment until Monday morning, though I don't do this much anymore.

Except, when there is something I want to do, or an event that catches my interest, I'd rather be out doing that than being home.  And, these days, that means venturing out by myself.  Which is fine.  I don't mind that either. I enjoy doing things out and about as much as I enjoy being home.

I guess the point is, I've never thought of myself as adventurous.  Only as practical, responsible, and the planner in my circle of friends.  But now, from this perspective, all that sounds mostly boring. 

I think I'll be striving more for adventurous.

mine must be broken

being single, conversation, life, meeting people

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I spent most of Saturday getting sunburned while poolside.  Takes me back to when every summer day was spent poolside.  Ah, to be 16 again…

Anyway, it was fairly crowded. I was enjoying myself in the sun, texting, writing, laughing, having a grand time knowing I had nowhere else to be for the rest of the day and loving every minute of it. 

The fellow sunning next to me spoke up:

“What kind of phone is that?”

“An iPhone.”

“Well mine must be broken.  It doesn't make me laugh nearly as much as yours does.”

Clever

I knew right from the start that I was not interested in seeing this guy outside of the pool gates, but he started the conversation in a witty way so I continued to talk to him and we talked for an hour or so.

Besides, it's not like the minute I make a change in my life I meet the person that's gonna sweep me off my feet and we ride into the sunset.  If that was the case I wouldn't have spent the last almost-3 years being mostly single.  I've realized that if I'm not willing to talk to people, how can I expect them to talk to me?

So over the past week I've made an effort to be more open.  

I went to a sit down lunch by myself for the first time.  Loved it.  

I went to happy hour by myself. Enjoyed a conversation with a nice man. 

I made eye contact with the guy across the restaurant. He has my number.  And he called.

I talked to the girl on trax who was studying Japanese.

I've talked to a handful of new people this week and while none of them are necessarily my new best friend, my frog prince, or the business person who will recognize my incredible talents and give me the job of my dreams, the conversations were all enjoyable.  Talking to strangers has been fun and not scary.  Who knew?

And, given that the experiences were all painless (except for the sunburn that now runs from my neck to my ankles) I'll continue to put myself in a position to talk to people. Because while I'm not good at small chit chat and getting to know people, I've learned it's a skill that can be acquired.  And it's already getting easier.