it’s not good


I find it interesting that those who know me, know that every morning is a good morning. 

My greeting every day is “morning”.  With wheelbarrows full of enthusiasm.

So the morning that has a greeting of a mellow “morning” draws questions. 

What's wrong? What's going on?

A lot is wrong right now.  I'm discontent.  I'm unsettled.  I'm questioning.  I'm planning.  I'm wondering.  I'm jammed up.

I'm upside down.

I welcome the change in my life.  It makes me reevalutate the structure I have created and those things I have decieded are important to me.  Is the structure practical?  Am I able to flex it?  Do I even want to?  How important are those things?  Both physical and emotional.  How much can I let go?  What is not negotiable? 

These review times seem to happen around the time Bella's human goes on vacation so I end up doing my reevaluation in a place that is not my home.  Which helps to take me outside of myself and brings a different perspective.  I get to take my coffee, ice cream, or pudding outside to the patio and sit in a chair in the sunshine.  Sunshine is good for my soul.

On the docket for review this time around?

How important is it that I stay Salt Lake City?

How tied to my job am I?

What do I really want out of my life?

What is the best occupation to attain the best life I can have?

How much of my stuff is excess? 

If there is a lot of excess, am I ready to get rid of it now?  If no, why not?

As a nasty bonus, I'm feeling creatively blocked up.  I'll be taking my camera and notebook to hopefully work some of it out.  And a plus, she has a treadmill so I'll also be able to sweat it inside while it's cold and uncomfortable outside.

On a side note, I am so ready for summer.  So. Very. Ready.



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