painting the red hair brown


I've had red hair since September.  I'd been contemplating a change from my very non-fussy naturally sun bleached hair to something a bit more dramatic.  I'd been red once before and it was an ok experience.  Maybe that was the spice I needed to change up my unevitable birthday crisis in the near future.  But I was unsure.

Then I tripped it to New York City.  We've discussed before the individuality of the people who live there and the epiphanies I had regarding my own independence and awesomeness.  

So very shortly after returning to Salt Lake City I colored the blond hair red.  And it was a smash hit.  My friends liked it.  My boss liked it. My mom liked it.  Hey, even I liked it.  

I was really fun to change up the persona a bit and try on something new for awhile, always knowing that I really do like my unfussy color the best.  Mostly because it's unfussy.

Around January I began to tire of the redness of it all.  It was growing out, it was lightening, it was still good, but I was rather done with it.  So about 3 weeks ago there was a feeble attempt to change up the red with some ordinary brown color.  Tweed.  The red still poked through.  Which really I was ok with.  Since now the roots were the same value of color as the rest of my hair, the difference in shade was not as noticeable.  And it may have been noticeable only to me.  Because I notice those things.  And it's my hair.

Over the last few weeks I've been enjoying a browner shade of the red.  Still red though.  And while I'm more ok with this shade of color than I was before, it's still red.  And I'm still over it.  

Many metaphors are running through my brain.  Is this really about hair color?  Maybe so.  Most likely not.  Maybe the whole thing is really about covering up consequences.  Or maintaining your muchness.  Or trying to hide that you're completely infatuated with the boy.  Or you're dealing with the job you have because it's a good job but it's really not what you want to be doing with your life. 

It gets harder and harder to cover up and eventually, someday, if you want to make it right you have to strip it down to the bottom layer.  And start completely over.

But for today, I'll continue painting the red hair brown.



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