I have a class I'm feeling mediocre about.
What?! Really? How could you possibly feel mediocre about school?!?
Yeah. Whatever.
Anyway… It's called the Theory of Business Thought. Gag me. Overall it's not too bad. I promise. It's mostly the history of why business is the way it is. How it developed. Eastern thought vs. Greek vs. Western thought. Y'know, how Carnegie and Rockefeller weaseled their way into hundreds of millions of dollars then gave it all away to make up for their sleeping around.
I've been up early this morning to finish up a paper that's due today. Yep, I'm a procrastinator. Get over it. The basis of the paper is to discuss the advantages and disadvantages of the Europeans, mainly the Spanish, trading with the Americans. We're talking Christopher Columbus and Montezuma here people. Like, a really long time ago.
So while I'm reading and taking notes and filling out SWOT charts for my over-informationalized teacher-in-a-doctorate-program, I'm hungry. So I'm up to make my oatmeal. Except both perfect-size-for-oatmeal pots are dirty. Blast. And now I'm emptying the sink of the dishes and, like the responsible good girl that I am, they get rinsed and loaded into the dishwasher. So while I'm rinsing and loading and washing and rinsing, at 4:30 am, I'm thinking about Christopher Columbus and King Phillip and Montezuma and wishing my music was up a bit louder so I could hear it over the running water. Which I now have dumped out of the spaghetti pot and all over the counter. Awesome.
And now I've realized my problem with this whole assignment: I'm a cut my losses and move on kind of girl. I mean, there have been plenty of times in my life when I'm weighing options. Strengths against weaknesses, opportunities against threats. I've made the choice and dealt with the consequences. Good or bad. If it's good I thank my intuition and higher power. If it's bad, I do a brief review and move on. Doesn't matter at this point.
So while I've been wondering if the Spanish should do business with the Americans, there is now dish water all over my counter. And I now have to deal with the inconvenience of cleaning it up while Ellie tickles my toes.
And while trade is what it is, I'm hungry and getting the oatmeal off the stove is more important to me than whether King Phillip should trade with Montezuma. So I'll go to class tonight and make the argument that history should follow the path it already took thousands of years ago.
And inside I'll secretly wish I could run up to King Phillip waving my arms and yelling, “Don't do it! They're gonna give you syphillis!!!”
Because seriously, can't you keep your hands to yourself?
Happy Wednesday.
Cheers.
M
omg. This is the funniest thing I've read in a long time. Nice article.