into the rabbit hole


What happens when you dive into the rabbit hole?  You come out a changed person.

It's early.  Oatmeal is down the hatch.  Coffee shortly follows.  There is plenty to be prepared for today.  Not only is it Tuesday, which in nature is a busy day, but there's an all employee meeting this afternoon.  And those suckers always take too long.

Then there is school tonight.  And Tuesday night class is always more fun than it should be.  Always.  If you're there, you know what I mean.  But I'll tell you, if the boy who sits in the row in front of me steals my note passing paper one more time I'm gonna thump him.  Just sayin.  Annoying little boys.

This morning I've been wondering, how is it that the day after Valentines Day does not have some nickname?  Because what I'm feeling right now is something akin to afterglow.  I'm floating through the morning in a euphoricly happy state.  Dishes in the sink? Eh, whatever.  Laundry to fold? I'll do it later.  Homework is due tomorrow?  It can wait.  Ellie needs to go out?  Who cares…. wait.  I better take care of that one.

Although, even in my blissful state I know a friend or two who are suffering though something more like a hangover.  You know the kind.  The one where you stare at yourself in the mirror with blurry eyes and a pounding headache with smeared makeup in the half light and wonder… What the hades happened last night?  How did I get here?  Is it really possible I drank THAT much?  And as you fight the next wave of nausea you vow never ever ever, to drink that much again.  Because this feels terrible.

But today the hangover is not from the alcohol.  It's from being disappointed.  Disappointed by the man you thought he was.  The man you wish you had.  And disappointed in yourself for falling for the ruse all over again. 

But no fear my dear.  This is the day that you look at yourself in the mirror with your stress headache and smeared makeup and vow to never fall for it again.  Fool you once shame on him.  Fool you twice shame on you.  And from someone who knows, I will tell you that spending Valentine's Day as a singleton is way better than waiting for the boy you call a man to get off his keester and write you a love note.  Or call to say he is thinking about you on this special day of love.  Let alone purchase the flowers, candy, or put forth any effort whatsoever. 

Because you know what?  If he can't muster the courage to express something special, and I'm NOT talking about 3 special words that include something about love, then you don't want him anyway.  I promise.  

So for all you ladies that were disappointed yesterday by the lack of effort, this is a public service announcement.  He's now broken your heart and your trust.  Again.  Can you please stop depending on him?  Your world is a better place without him. I promise.




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