There are a lot of things on my mind these days.

A lot of things going on.

A lot of project.

A lot of juggling balls in the air.

I'm keeping to do lists like crazy.  

I'm sending emails to myself.  

I'm taking naps in my car.

I'm up early and up late.  

And right now it feels like it's never gonna end.

But I keep doing it for a few reasons.

1. If I don't, I'll end up with icky grades.  And I never was satisfied with icky grades.  I always wanted the validation that if I worked hard enough to get the best grade that I could, it would manifest itself.  School has always been validation that I'm smart enough.  It's part of who I am.

2. I'm happier when I'm busy.  I like have things to do.  Really, I like having too much to do.  It keeps me focused and productive.  I plan it out, I check them off the list, I get to step back and review my good work.  As long as it doesn't cut into my sleep time.  And this week it's cutting into my sleep time.  And that's hard.

3. It all has to stop eventually.  It seems to be piled on and then piled on more.  And then one more.  But eventually the school project will end.  Soon it will be the weekend.  The semester will be over.  The seasons will change.  Payday is around the corner.  If I can keep it together for just a bit longer the pay off is grand.

4. If I have a few minutes to make a game plan, it goes a lot easier.  Taking out a few minutes in the day to review and adjust is a small price to pay for forgetting or double booking or just being overwhelmed.

When I sit down to do the list of things that need to get done, I realize that I asked for most of this.  The only thing I have to do is go to work.  And that's only because I choose not to be homeless.  

School is not required.  

PennyJo Designs is not required.  

Ellie is not required.

Salt Lake City is not required.

So when I want to complain and stomp my foot and rub my face and make whining and groaning sounds because there is JUST TOO MUCH, I can only complain to myself.  Because I created this mess.  Now I get myself through it.  

 

(all images found via weheartit)