2 years ago

life

My life changed 2 years ago.  Because I wanted it to. Because it was for the better.  Because I was so unhappy.  And I wanted to be happy.

And that was a huge revelation.  I could change my life.  I alone had the ability to make my life better.  To pick myself up.  To move on.  To make that huge and scary change.  And I really do mean huge and scary.

And I look back at it now, and it seems like small potatoes.  Even though it wasn't.  And it still isn't.  Isn't that funny?  I think the only difference is that I'm not afraid anymore.

Not afraid of ending up alone.  Eating alone.  Shopping alone. Cooking along.  Making it alone. 

Because it's actually refreshing to be alone.  It's strangely satisfying.  And even though being alone is not for everyone, everyone should know how to be alone.  Because it is a valuable tool, being alone.

And I'm not talking about lonely.  Because while it is a smudge lonely, it's the perfect balance.

I stumbled across this post the other week.  It really triggered me.  And I've watched this youtube video a dozen times. At least.

It's a delicate balance, that being alone stuff.

People around me offer suggestions on how to make my life better.  And by that, they offer suggestions on how to meet people.  Because, apparently, you need someone else to be happy.

And since I don't have someone else, I must be unhappy.

Well, thank you everyone for looking out for my happiness.  But really, if I was unhappy or wanted a different life, I would make that change.  Take that step. Do that work. Because I've done it before.  And I am willing to do it again.  

But for now, I'm perfectly happy to go it alone.  Happy.  Satisfied.  Fulfilled. Busy. Entertained. Planning, hoping, and dreaming.

While still remaining open to meeting that person that sweeps me off my feet.

Loves.

M

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