Over the last week I've been thinking about the how part of taking my life back. The biggest struggle for me has been accepting and moving on from my present experiences.
Forgiving myself for not handling a situation the way I should have.
But also knowing that next time, heaven forbid there even be a next time, I would handle it differently. Because I've learned. And now I know.
But in the mean time, there are other things to be done. And this morning I look around at a tidied apartment, and feel better about myself. About my choices. Because even though I still make mistakes, or handle things poorly, or choose differently, I'm still a responsible and capable adult. Ew, I'm an adult. Yick.
Now, with that said, it's very early in the morning. I've finished this morning's variety of warm cereal, and I'm starting in on my first cup of joe. Ellie is sniffing and snuffing the same carpet she sniffs and snuffs every morning. It's quiet. I hear the water running in the creek outside. And the refrigerator humming. And the coffee pot ticking.
And I feel peace.
Last night I vacuumed, washed, dried, put away, threw out, paired down, simplified, swept, shook, gathered, folded, and filed just about everything in the apartment. And there is still more to be done.
And while I did not get all of my current projects done, completed, and put away in April, I'm still making progress in May. And I'm ok with that. Because baby steps are still progress.
And, y'know those things that you have wanted to do for years but have never gotten around to taking care of? Well, I'm almost there. I'm almost to the point of actually taking care of them.