It has always been interesting to me, the cycles of my sane-ness.
I thought everything was running smoothly. I was able to do the things I wanted to do. I had energy. Routine. It was stable. I was happy. Everything that I could control was being controlled. I had it covered. Under control.
And then life happened. The result of crazy naive choices caught up with me. And I went into a tailspin. I recovered. But I've been out of balance.
Which is fine for awhile. I'm ok with it. I had to allow myself time to heal. Time to recover. Not just cover up the damage, but deal with it. Come to terms with it. Accept it. Learn from it. And then move on.
So since then, my life has been a bit out of whack. I thought I had moved on. I thought I had everything under control. But alas, I've been fooled again. I wasn't quite there.
So now, in the month of May, I'm taking my life back. Taking control of the things I can control. Making better choices. Being the adult that is hidden in there somewhere behind the hurt and anger and makes little kids cry.
And as for the progress that was supposed to happen in April? I'm not quite there. (did you hear the part about life happening? And the healing? Yeah, I've been busy.) But I'm still on the road to purging and clearing out. It's now more important than ever to clear out the old and stale to make room for the new and fresh.